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| Jessica Rabbit at Manchester Pride 2010 |
The discussion that followed went a little something like this:
Kirstyn: When I worked in France, I remember the family I au paired for got a plumber to come round, and it was this really old dude, but his accent was so sexy. So confusing.
Jaclyn: Hah! I think only women are attracted to voices. Although … I guess “sexy women” have husky voices. Which is interesting. Why does a manly voice make women sexier … when for absolutely everything else, it’s the opposite? What’s up with that?!
By “absolutely everything else” I meant body hair, musculature and stature, body language, and even vocabulary (it’s called “sailor mouth” for a reason). If you want to be a stereotypically sexy lass, you’ve got to reek of estrogen—in every physical and behavioral aspect but the voice, apparently. That, it seems, should be manly. Well, maybe not exclusively butch—I get that breathy, innocent-sounding Marilyn Monroe had at least a modicum of sex appeal, too—but it’s definitely one of those traits associated with smoldering temptresses: a deep, raspy set of pipes.
Please, have no hair on you ladybits and look as young and girlish as possible, but please feel free to have a voice that only high amounts of testosterone, decades of smoking, and advanced age can produce. Seriously, I repeat: What’s up with that?!
My twenty minutes of Internet searching has failed to reveal the reasons for this deep-voiced temptress phenomenon. What it does tell me is that deep-voiced women are more “electable,” as Margaret Thatcher apparently learned on her way to Britain’s top political seat. According to some group of Dutch scientists, consciously lowering your voice can even raise your own belief in yourself as powerful being. Interesting that, isn’t it. Doesn’t the old cliché say men are afraid of powerful women? Last thing they should want to do is bed ’em, then, no?
Maybe when a tight bodice, bright red lips, and glottal sounds combine, it indicates a woman who can take charge in the sexy times department. Is that it?
Obviously, given that both my science and sociology degrees got lost somewhere in the mail, this is all just pure ramblings. And in fact, the Internet keeps telling me that men find high voices more sexually attractive—but is a high pitched, whiny, Valley Girl voice really what anyone wants to hear whilst in the throes of passion?
I guess there needs to be some sort of global poll to determine that, but I say the proof is in the pudding, folks: Kathleen Turner voiced Jessica Rabbit, the sexiest character, cartoon or not, to ever grace the silver screen. And we mustn’t forget, she also played Chandler’s dad.
